The Most Common Mistakes I See in Fiction Manuscripts--And What to Do About Them

by Jerry Gross © 1996
Editor of EDITORS ON EDITING

The following list is compiled from my more than forty years of being an acquisition, developmental and line editor--plus the experience I have gained from presenting my “Secrets of a Book Doctor's Practice” workshops at writers' conferences around the USA.

Manuscripts in General
Submitting a dirty, hard-to-read manuscript to an already overworked editor with tired eyes. (Would you go for an interview in a soiled, wrinkled suit or dress? Of course not! Remember, your proposal or manuscript is your “interview” with the editor. So if it looks good, you look good.)

FICTION MANUSCRIPTS
1. Failing to hook your reader's interest early--first paragraph!--and to keep that interest sustained. Many beginners start the story chronologically instead of at a peak point of dramatic interest--a crucial event or conversation.
2. Waiting too long to set the premise and conflict of the novel, and to introduce the reader to the protagonist and antagonist. Prolonged and excessive use of “descriptive writing” delays giving the reader someone to cheer and to hiss.
3. Not giving your characters believable motivations, actions and relationships. If you haven't fully developed characters before you start writing, those problems will be obvious to your editor.
4. Convincing and manipulating events instead of having the plot evolve from believable characters acting in credible ways.
5. Forgetting that where, when and how people make love in novels should reveal the psychological aspects of their relationship as well as their sexual tastes and preferences. Sometimes out of guilt or a craving for recklessness and risk taking, a couple might make love in a place where they know they may very well be discovered, thus endangering their affair-and even their lives. This is especially true in mystery and thriller writing. Love made in anger, or with tenderness, or in a manner forcing the other partner into unpleasant or objectionable acts give the sexual act or acts a tone and mood that goes beyond the mechanics of the act itself. For instance, if the two partners have had a fight, lovemaking might be done with hostility, or, as a loving, giving way of making up. Describe the mood and tone of the lovemaking.
6. Not bothering to convince the reader that the hero and the heroine have fallen in love--but merely saying that they do.
7. Permitting stilted dialogue to remain in a novel when merely reading the dialogue out loud, or hearing it played back on a tape recorder, could have forced you to make the dialogue sound more natural and believable.
8. Poor plotting that fails to give the novel, pace, shape, energy or interest. Poor plotting can be caused by overwhelming the reader with too many characters and too many conflicts too soon in the story--leaving the rest of the story thin in both character relationships and crucial events. The result is that the pacing is front-loaded and there's not enough drama or movement to keep the reader turning pages to find out what happens next. Plotting should be paced so that there is a steady appeal to, and satisfaction of the reader's curiosity about the people and events in the novel. It's like having a steady foot on the gas pedal to give a smooth ride.
9. Confusing the reader by not clearly indicating a change in time, locale or chronology of events. Simply inserting a transitional phrase such as “Two weeks later when John showed up at the office...” is one example of how this passage of time and locale can be indicated in a manuscript.
10. Refusing to describe characters, or to suggest their ages and individuality by giving them their own speech patterns, gestures, mannerisms, ways to walking and moving, etc.
11. Going for the unpredictable phrase or routine observation instead of relying on your own powers of observation and expression. Editors are turned off quickly by such clichés as:
“She was at the end of her rope. How could she ever pick up the pieces of her life?” Or “He looked in the mirror; his hair was thinning and his waist was thickening. His mid-life crisis was upon him!” Or “The clouds formed and reformed themselves like strange and wonderful faces and animals.”
12. Attempting to write in the style of a best-selling author instead of using your own authorial “voice.” For example, someone who relies heavily on describing the clothes someone wears to create character--in the manner of Tom Wolfe in BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES. Or uses brand names to establish a scene as does Stephen King in many of his novels.
13. Reducing the effectiveness of the story by blatantly poor spelling, grammar, sentence structure, etc.
14. An apparent inability to target the audience for the story, thus muddying the effects and weakening the strengths of the story. The writer should write for the audience that reads a particular genre--mystery, romance, science-fiction, etc.--and not try to muddy the waters by diluting the features of a genre in a misbegotten attempt to reach a wider, “mainstream” audience. Be true to the form you are writing in and to the audience you are targeting.